one of my fondest; listening to ‘fireworks’, lsd, listening to all the extra sounds, knowing i would never hear them again, vowing to never listen to it again in a normal state of being — one of my proudest; keeping that vow. sacred. one of my fondest; singing to you, making you fall in love, every time i hear ponytail i can’t help it. i sing it all the time, hoping to fall in love with myself. and it helps. i think i’ll love you forever, i think i still do, or could. but that doesn’t matter. one of my proudest; feeling always good. feeling like nothing will get me down. feeling that remembering isn’t bad, feeling that remembering and knowing it can never be the same is a good feeling. realizing my full potential and power. realizing that nothing matters unless it’s good, really, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are going in the right direction, it’s not possible to feel bad, it’s not even possible to go in the wrong direction, the more i read, the more i do, the more i see, the more i fuck, the more i realize. it moves me. keep going. keep feeling. keep writing, painting, drawing, talking. keep doing drugs, maybe, if it feels good. not knowing how to end this. but it’s alright. it’ll all be okay. everything means nothing to me.
miu miu fall winter 1999.
someone still loves you boris yeltsin - travel song
try to understand she’s a goddess of someplace we just left
try to understand, she’s got problems son,
she’s got problems you can’t stand
‘cause we’re just held together by calendars and sex,
daily papers and a pack of cigarettes
talk about #goals
BOW DOWN
there should be like a strip club only with hot dads in good shoes with their legs propped up on tables sipping coffee and staring at you over the tops of their glasses when you walk in
goddamn i would lose so much money
king and queen of the world
